Thursday, February 12, 2009

Going Solo On Valentine's Day???

Uh-oh. Just when you thought you’d gotten through New Year’s Eve unscathed, here comes another doozie of a holiday for singles: Valentine’s Day. For the uncoupled, the dreaded fourteenth day of February can be a pink-ribbon-and-teddy-bear-wrapped reminder (as if we needed one!) that we’ll be getting the entire bed to ourselves that night (again). Add to that the mall windows filled with heart-shaped balloons and the bombardment of ads from florists to jewelers, and Valentine’s Day can make you feel like you’re the only one who forgot to board Noah’s ark.
Well, take heart (so to speak): You are not alone. In fact, there are millions of other singles out there, each with his or her own strategy for getting through what might seem like the most unromantic day of the year—and maybe even having some fun. Here, some tactics to consider:

Denial may not be the smartest coping mechanism during the rest of the year (“Just because I found lipstick on his collar doesn’t mean he’s cheating, right?”), but on Valentine’s Day, it helps my single friends Gil and Heather. Gil says that by making fun of the holiday — “It’s a Hallmark invention” or “It’s a Pagan ritual” — he convinces himself that the day doesn’t have much true meaning. My friend Heather takes denial a step further. “They say loving yourself first is an important step to finding someone,” she explained. “It sounds cheesy, but one year friends and I got together for dinner to celebrate ourselves. We talked about the accomplishments we’d enjoyed since the last Valentine’s Day. Even if they were small things like new places we’d been, new foods we’d tried—anything that acknowledged that we’d grown in some way.” The result? “It was inspiring to take time to see what we have instead of what we’re missing. But I realize this also could be considered denial!”

Cruise for dates:
Instead of pining away for a Valentine, my friend Marcelo decided to go out and find one. “One Valentine’s Day when I was single and lonely,” he said, “I went to the local Rite Aid to buy some sundries. I started talking to a cute girl who was also shopping. I figured, hey, she must be single if she’s shopping alone on Valentine’s Day. I asked her if she wanted to have dinner, since neither of us seemed to be busy that night, and she said yes.” Although it didn’t lead to a relationship, they had a nice time and wound up going out on a couple more dates. “Point is,” Marcelo said, “if you go out on Valentine’s Day and see a single person doing something incredibly mundane, then there is a good chance that person doesn’t have a significant other. The odds are markedly improved that if you ask the person for coffee or a drink, the answer will be yes.”

Pursue the impossible:
A few years ago, when my friend Gil was hopelessly enamored of a neighbor whom he knew didn’t return his affection, he decided to ask her out anyway: “I got her this giant rose, in a box, wrapped in the biggest bow ever made, and invited her for dinner,” he said. And, it turns out, she accepted his offer. “Nothing ever came of that or many other gestures,” he admitted, sheepishly. But at least he got to spend the holiday with the woman of his dreams.

Help others:
Sure, it’s easy to focus inward on our own romantic emptiness, but my friend Heather thinks reaching out should apply to Valentine’s Day as well. “On Thanksgiving, people go out of their way to make sure everyone has somewhere to go,” she said. “Why don’t we do that on Valentine’s Day, when we really need it? I want soup kitchens to hand out free pieces of pumpkin pie to single people on Valentine’s Day.” Well, perhaps not that exact idea, but giving those who’d appreciate it: Why not volunteer to do something nice for other people so that they feel loved—even if you don’t?

Two years ago, Bonnie decided to start a tradition of hosting a party attended only by her single friends. Not only is it a great opportunity to meet someone, but embracing the day feels empowering. My single friend Amy said that although she’d like to be coupled with the right person on Valentine’s Day, after spending the holiday with Mr. Wrong a few years ago, now she revels in being single rather than being with just anyone. “We had a very uncomfortable expensive romantic dinner,” she said of the guy she’d been dating. They broke up a week later. “I was so unhappy that Valentine’s Day, I remember thinking that it’s better to be single and happy than with someone just for the sake of being with someone,” she said.

Wear it on your sleeve:
“I always wore red on Valentine's Day to show that I was embracing the holiday even though I was single,” said my friend Carolyn, who has since met and married her Valentine. “I thought that might save me from any ‘poor, pitiful single you’ comments and prevent anyone from tiptoeing around me that day fearing that I was feeling blue.” And it worked, Carolyn said: “How can anyone surmise that you’re feeling blue if you’re decked out in red?”

Be your own valentine:
Another friend took matters into her own hands. “I always bought myself something absolutely lovely, like a thick cashmere sweater or a great beaded bracelet,” she said. “I have always been of the mindset that I love me and deserve to proclaim it to myself on February 14th, rather than to feel bad that someone else hasn't quite realized yet how terrific I am.”

The bottom line?
Whatever strategy you choose, remember that Valentine’s Day isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyway. Even if you have a Valentine (and especially if you’ve been together long enough that you’ve stopped closing the bathroom door), celebrating romance on a specific day each year tends to lose its luster. So just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re missing much. Oh, wait, that must be my denial kicking in.

(source: Lori Gottlieb, a commentator for NPR, is the coauthor of I Love You, Nice to Meet You: A Guy and A Girl Give the Lowdown on Coupling Up. Her site is

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Valentines Day Top 5 Dinner And A Movie Combo

The Notebook
Chicken Avocado Melt
P.S. I Love You
Beer Battered Shrimp
No Reservations
Caramelized Onions and Beef Stew
All American Pot Roast
Music & Lyrics
Angel Hair Pasta

Valentines Day Top 10 Romantic Gifts

Sexy Pics of You
Pillowcase Messages
The Gift of Time
10 Reasons I Love You
Love Coupons
Love Rocks
A Love Poem
A Love Letter

Valentines Day Top 10 Date Night Ideas

Massage Night
Moonlit Snowshoe Tour
Baking for Two
Around the World
Your Favorite Decade
Breakfast in Bed
Dessert Date
Bookstore Romance
Bowling for Two
T-Shirt Decorating

Top 100 Most Romantic Films

Okay...Valentines Day is almost here...below is a list of the AFI's 100 most romantic get out the popcorn and pick a flick to watch with your significant other and enjoy:
Rank ↓ Title ↓ Year ↓ Actors ↓
1 Casablanca 1942 Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman
2 Gone with the Wind 1939 Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh, Leslie Howard and Olivia de Havilland
3 West Side Story 1961 Richard Beymer and Natalie Wood
4 Roman Holiday 1953 Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn
5 An Affair to Remember 1957 Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr
6 The Way We Were 1973 Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand
7 Doctor Zhivago 1965 Omar Sharif and Julie Christie
8 It's a Wonderful Life 1946 James Stewart and Donna Reed
9 Love Story 1970 Ryan O'Neal and Ali MacGraw
10 City Lights 1931 Charles Chaplin and Virginia Cherrill
11 Annie Hall 1977 Woody Allen and Diane Keaton
12 My Fair Lady 1964 Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn
13 Out of Africa 1985 Meryl Streep and Robert Redford
14 The African Queen 1951 Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn
15 Wuthering Heights 1939 Merle Oberon, Laurence Olivier
16 Singin' in the Rain 1952 Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds
17 Moonstruck 1987 Cher and Nicolas Cage
18 Vertigo 1958 James Stewart and Kim Novak
19 Ghost 1990 Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore
20 From Here to Eternity 1953 Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr
21 Pretty Woman 1990 Julia Roberts and Richard Gere
22 On Golden Pond 1981 Henry Fonda and Katharine Hepburn
23 Now, Voyager 1942 Bette Davis and Paul Henreid
24 King Kong 1933 The ape and Fay Wray
25 When Harry Met Sally... 1989 Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan
26 The Lady Eve 1941 Henry Fonda and Barbara Stanwyck
27 The Sound of Music 1965 Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer
28 The Shop Around the Corner 1940 James Stewart and Margaret Sullivan
29 An Officer and a Gentleman 1982 Richard Gere and Debra Winger
30 Swing Time 1936 Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers
31 The King and I 1956 Deborah Kerr and Yul Brynner
32 Dark Victory 1939 Bette Davis and George Brent
33 Camille 1936 Robert Taylor and Greta Garbo
34 Beauty and the Beast 1991 Paige O'Hara and Robby Benson (voice actors)
35 Gigi 1958 Leslie Caron and Louis Jourdan
36 Random Harvest 1942 Greer Garson and Ronald Colman
37 Titanic 1997 Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet
38 It Happened One Night 1934 Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert
39 An American in Paris 1951 Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron
40 Ninotchka 1939 Greta Garbo and Melvyn Douglas
41 Funny Girl 1968 Barbra Streisand and Omar Sharif
42 Anna Karenina 1935 Greta Garbo and Fredric March
43 A Star Is Born 1954 Judy Garland and James Mason
44 The Philadelphia Story 1940 Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn
45 Sleepless in Seattle 1993 Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan
46 To Catch a Thief 1955 Cary Grant and Grace Kelly
47 Splendor in the Grass 1961 Natalie Wood and Warren Beatty
48 Last Tango in Paris 1973 Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider
49 The Postman Always Rings Twice 1946 Lana Turner and John Garfield
50 Shakespeare in Love 1998 Gwyneth Paltrow and Joseph Fiennes
51 Bringing Up Baby 1938 Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn
52 The Graduate 1967 Dustin Hoffman, Anne Bancroft, Katharine Ross
53 A Place in the Sun 1951 Montgomery Clift, Elizabeth Taylor, Shelley Winters
54 Sabrina 1954 Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart, William Holden
55 Reds 1981 Warren Beatty and Diane Keaton
56 The English Patient 1996 Ralph Fiennes and Kristin Scott Thomas
57 Two for the Road 1967 Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney
58 Guess Who's Coming to Dinner 1967 Sidney Poitier and Katharine Houghton, Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy
59 Picnic 1955 William Holden and Kim Novak
60 To Have and Have Not 1944 Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall
61 Breakfast at Tiffany's 1961 Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard
62 The Apartment 1960 Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine
63 Sunrise 1927 Janet Gaynor and George O'Brien
64 Marty 1955 Ernest Borgnine and Betsy Blair
65 Bonnie and Clyde 1967 Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway
66 Manhattan 1979 Woody Allen and Diane Keaton
67 A Streetcar Named Desire 1951 Marlon Brando and Vivien Leigh
68 What's Up, Doc? 1972 Barbra Streisand and Ryan O'Neal
69 Harold and Maude 1971 Bud Cort and Ruth Gordon
70 Sense and Sensibility 1995 Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Kate Winslet, Hugh Grant
71 Way Down East 1920 Lillian Gish, Richard Barthelmess
72 Roxanne 1987 Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah
73 The Ghost and Mrs. Muir 1947 Rex Harrison and Gene Tierney
74 Woman of the Year 1942 Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy
75 The American President 1995 Michael Douglas and Annette Bening
76 The Quiet Man 1952 John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara
77 The Awful Truth 1937 Irene Dunne and Cary Grant
78 Coming Home 1978 Jane Fonda and Jon Voight
79 Jezebel 1938 Bette Davis and Henry Fonda
80 The Sheik 1921 Rudolph Valentino and Agnes Ayres
81 The Goodbye Girl 1977 Richard Dreyfuss and Marsha Mason
82 Witness 1985 Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis
83 Morocco 1930 Marlene Dietrich and Gary Cooper
84 Double Indemnity 1944 Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck
85 Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing 1955 William Holden and Jennifer Jones
86 Notorious 1946 Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman
87 The Unbearable Lightness of Being 1988 Daniel Day-Lewis, Juliette Binoche and Lena Olin
88 The Princess Bride 1987 Cary Elwes and Robin Wright Penn
89 Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? 1966 Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton
90 The Bridges of Madison County 1995 Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep
91 Working Girl 1988 Melanie Griffith and Harrison Ford
92 Porgy and Bess 1959 Sidney Poitier, Dorothy Dandridge
93 Dirty Dancing 1987 Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey
94 Body Heat 1981 William Hurt and Kathleen Turner
95 Lady and the Tramp 1955 Barbara Luddy & Larry Roberts (voice actors)
96 Barefoot in the Park 1967 Jane Fonda and Robert Redford
97 Grease 1978 John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
98 The Hunchback of Notre Dame 1939 Charles Laughton, Maureen O'Hara, and Edmund O'Brien
99 Pillow Talk 1959 Rock Hudson and Doris Day
100 Jerry Maguire 1996 Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

All I Want For Christmas Is You

This is the best Christmas oh-I-don't-have-the-person-I-want-but-wouldn't-it-be-great-if-they-wrapped-themselves-up-and-waited-for-me-underneath-my-tree song...maybe next year, eh?

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Too Much Coffee Man's "I Like A Girl" Fate Tree